1. my GPS is dyslexic
2. I-35 is to be avoided no matter what time it is
3. my North Carolina brain does not understand access roads
4. Funyuns and Whopper's Robins Eggs don't help, they hurt
5. it can actually take an hour and a half to drive 30 miles if you throw in a billion U-turns
6. there is no such thing as a "quick trip" to wal-mart when you don't know where the F-anything is
7. if you hate people....don't move to a city
8. if I am going to serve stupid people food, I should have stayed at Squids where I at least knew what's up and could scare the newbies, instead of being a newbie
9. loud music solves all...even if the lyrics are in Spanish and the station is straight out of Mexico
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